Therapies
Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy at Third Street Counseling in Laguna Beach
Third Street Counseling offers couples work informed by training in the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy, two of the most widely researched approaches to how couples fight, withdraw, and reconnect. Delivered by Brian Stubbs, AMFT. Start with a free consult.
- Quick facts
- Who it is for
- Couples
- Formats offered
- In person in Laguna Beach and telehealth across California
- Clinician
- Brian Stubbs, AMFT
- How to start
- Free consult to see whether this is the right fit
What This Looks Like
What do the Gottman Method and EFT offer couples at Third Street Counseling?
In Laguna Beach or by telehealth across California. You would see Brian Stubbs.
The Gottman Method is a structured, research-based approach to couples therapy. It focuses on the patterns couples fall into, the small moments that build or erode connection, and the practical skills that help two people turn toward each other instead of away.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) works at the level of emotional bond. It helps couples see the cycle they are caught in, the one where one person's withdrawal triggers the other's pursuit, or vice versa, and step out of it together.
Brian Stubbs, AMFT, is trained in both. Sessions are held in our Laguna Beach office or by telehealth across California. The first step is a free consult to understand what is going on and whether this is the right fit.
The Gottman Method identifies specific patterns that predict relationship distress. One is criticism, where a complaint about a situation turns into an attack on the person. Another is contempt, which is criticism with a layer of disrespect. A third is defensiveness, where one partner deflects rather than listens. And a fourth is stonewalling, where one partner shuts down and withdraws. The therapy helps couples recognize these patterns and replace them with healthier alternatives.
EFT looks at the emotional cycle underneath the patterns. When one partner withdraws, the other often pursues harder, which makes the first partner withdraw more. Or the roles reverse. The cycle is the problem, not the people in it. EFT helps couples see the cycle together, understand what each person is actually feeling underneath the surface behavior, and create new patterns of emotional responsiveness.
The two approaches complement each other. The Gottman Method gives couples practical skills and a shared vocabulary for what is happening. EFT helps them understand and change the emotional bond that drives the patterns. Brian Stubbs draws on both depending on what the moment calls for.
Couples counseling is available through Brian Stubbs. You can read more about the practical details on our couples counseling page, including how to start and what to expect.
Free, no obligation. No pressure, no sales pitch.
Is This You?
What brings people to Gottman Method and emotionally focused couples therapy
If any of this sounds familiar, a free consult is the place to start.
Every conversation turns into a fight
You and your partner keep hitting the same wall, and the pattern is eroding the connection you built.
You have gone quiet with each other
The fights have faded into silence, and the distance feels harder to close than the arguments.
You want to find your way back
You remember what made you want this, and you are ready for help rebuilding the emotional and physical connection.
Free, no obligation. No pressure, no sales pitch.
How to Start
How do I get started with Gottman Method and emotionally focused couples therapy?
You talk with a clinician, we learn what is going on, and we match you with the right therapist.
Every new couple begins with a free consult. You reach out through our contact form or by phone, and we schedule a short call to understand what is going on and whether this is the right fit. There is no paperwork to fill out before this call, and no commitment to continue.
If it is a fit, we schedule your first session at our Laguna Beach office or by telehealth. If it is not, we will help you find someone who is, here or elsewhere. You can also learn more about what to expect on our insights page about your first therapy session in Laguna Beach.
Common Questions
Common questions about Gottman Method and emotionally focused couples therapy
Four questions we are asked most, answered before you call.
What is the difference between the Gottman Method and EFT?
The Gottman Method focuses on patterns, practical skills, and the small moments that build or erode connection. EFT works at the level of emotional bond, helping couples see the cycle they are caught in and step out of it together. The two approaches complement each other, and Brian Stubbs draws on both depending on what the moment calls for.
Do we have to be married to come to couples counseling?
No. Couples counseling at Third Street Counseling is for any couple, married or not, who wants to work on their relationship. The approaches are the same regardless of marital status.
Can couples counseling be done by telehealth?
Yes. Telehealth works well for couples counseling. Both partners need to be on the same call. As long as both of you are in California, telehealth is available. You can read more about how it works on our telehealth therapy insights page.
How long does couples counseling take?
It depends on the patterns you are working on and how long they have been in place. Some couples come for a few months to work through a specific issue. Others stay longer because the work is ongoing and valuable. Brian Stubbs will discuss what to expect after the first few sessions.
Related
Related to Gottman Method and emotionally focused couples therapy (3)
Nearest to this one: couples counseling, individual therapy, and EMDR therapy.
Free, no obligation. No pressure, no sales pitch.